Friday, July 1, 2011

Throwing Yogurt: what if the only ammo was Greek?

Here in Texas we are facing yet another severe drought.  We went months without a significant rainfall and I have both the crispy, crackly grass and the water bill to prove it.  But we are going to be having that most hallowed of American traditions this coming weekend, anyway.  Gunpowder explosions will be lighting the skies of Houston this coming Monday, regardless of the very real possibility of fire.  I am, seriously, considering manning my garden hose for the night.  I think the pressure is sufficient to reach my roof.

I don't know what I am going to do next academic year if the Texas legislature has its way.  Because a good chunk of my students are going to be armed.  Leave it to the great state of Texas to respond to the shootings in Tucson (and a scare at UT early last year) not by limiting guns on campus but by passing legislation which guarantees the student's rights to carry.  I understand we are not even permitted an opt out clause.  We have to let them bring it on.  For a good number of years, I have been listening to my students go on and on about everyone they would shoot.  I think I have mentioned that when I show the First Contact movie in class, very few students feel that Nick was not fully justified for the shootings at Tari.  (Even when I bring up the "castle" defense; that Texas tradition of being justified in shooting someone who threatens your domain/castle.)  Most, happily, assert their right to shoot someone in the parking lot for attempting to steal their pick-up truck.  I've probably mentioned that before because it always amazes me.  Anyway, I am a bit concerned about grading people whose solution to life's difficulties is gunpowder--possibly aimed at me.  A bullet-proof vest is definitely going to mess up my outfit.  And what does one do about one's head.  After all, isn't that the bit that Mick blew into tiny pieces?  *gulp*

Why couldn't we just throw yogurt?  In the anthropology of possibilities, wouldn't we all be better off to emulate the Greeks at their protests earlier this month?  I mean we are more than happy to reinvent the gifts of the Greeks in every "Western Civ" class that I have ever encountered.  And we loved the hell out of them in "My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding".  Plus, I understand that Greek yogurt sales are way up in America over the past two years.  The package pictured above was purchased at our new Whole Foods with a dollar off coupon....see, we can get it on sale and it might even be cheaper than that other kind of ammo.  And...it washes out.

What would it take us to "go Greek"?

(This one's for you, Tina.)

Edited to add:  for a more serious look at the consequences of the invention and use of gunpowder rather than "cultured" milk products, check out the latest blog post at Savage Minds on the real costs:  Costs of War:  Doing the Numbers.

3 comments:

Tina said...

Pamela,
Any self respecting Greek knows that Fage yogurt is a better weapon. It is more dense which can cause some damage. And none of this 0% or 2% fat yogurt. You need the REAL THING!
Thanks for the post, BTW...
Yia sou
Tina

hbludau said...

So glad you are posting again!

Pamthropologist said...

@Tina...hello, did you not read the part about the dollar off coupon?

@hbludau thank you.